Reflections on the End of an Era
It's been two months since I took my last final in college, and I must say I've been living it up ever since. The two weeks leading up to graduation were amazing. I really loved just hanging out with everyone and enjoying the little bit of college we had left at the time. I want to thank everyone for a wonderful four years. It's been great and I certainly wouldn't change a thing.
Graduation was bittersweet. Although I was relieved to be finished with classes and tests and quite proud to have accomplished so much, I was so sad to be leaving my friends, my school, and my college lifestyle behind. Graduation marked the end of a carefree life and the beginning of one in the real world. I don't think I appreciated it all as much as I should have while I was at Penn, but I certainly miss it all now.
Since being home, though, I feel like college and everything is now a distant memory, even though it wasn't even two months ago that I took my last final. It's almost like it never happened since I'm back home again sleeping in my same room, hanging out with my high school friends at the usual places, and having Sunday dinners with my family. It's like the saying "Out of sight, out of mind." I know I'm a different person now, more mature (hopefully) and more experienced, so being home isn't exactly the same, but somehow it feels like I never left.
I think it's amazing how the mind works, or at least how mine does. I feel like I'm always totally caught up in the moment and everything that's happened to me prior to that moment is almost irrelevant but it is as if everything I've done up to that moment has been in preparation for it. I believe that everything in the world is random, but somehow the chain of events in my life always seem to lead up to the present moment, and everything had to fall into place for me to get there. That's certainly how I feel right now, with everything that's happening to me, or rather with everything that I'm making happen. Everything I've done in my life, all the schooling I've been through, my childhood, my adolescence, my relationships, my friendships, my accomplishments, and my mistakes, have all led me to this very moment. I'm about to embark on a whole new life where I'm totally accountable and responsible for everything I do. Everything I've done up until this point has prepared for this, and I hope I'm ready for it.
As excited as I am to start a new life, I'm also in mourning for the life I'm leaving behind. Things will never really be the same again. As much as my mind likes to pretend that nothing changes, in fact everything changes each time I revisit old, familiar places and faces. People move on with their lives and places evolve with the changing people. Most importantly for me, I'm changing and moving on with my life. I'm leaving behind so many people, places, and memories. I'm not but am ready to let it go and start anew all at the same time. I don't even know if that makes sense. But while I'm still here, still in what will soon be the recent past and a happy memory, I want to take it all in and savor it for what it is. I'm living in the now, and I'm loving it.
Graduation was bittersweet. Although I was relieved to be finished with classes and tests and quite proud to have accomplished so much, I was so sad to be leaving my friends, my school, and my college lifestyle behind. Graduation marked the end of a carefree life and the beginning of one in the real world. I don't think I appreciated it all as much as I should have while I was at Penn, but I certainly miss it all now.
Since being home, though, I feel like college and everything is now a distant memory, even though it wasn't even two months ago that I took my last final. It's almost like it never happened since I'm back home again sleeping in my same room, hanging out with my high school friends at the usual places, and having Sunday dinners with my family. It's like the saying "Out of sight, out of mind." I know I'm a different person now, more mature (hopefully) and more experienced, so being home isn't exactly the same, but somehow it feels like I never left.
I think it's amazing how the mind works, or at least how mine does. I feel like I'm always totally caught up in the moment and everything that's happened to me prior to that moment is almost irrelevant but it is as if everything I've done up to that moment has been in preparation for it. I believe that everything in the world is random, but somehow the chain of events in my life always seem to lead up to the present moment, and everything had to fall into place for me to get there. That's certainly how I feel right now, with everything that's happening to me, or rather with everything that I'm making happen. Everything I've done in my life, all the schooling I've been through, my childhood, my adolescence, my relationships, my friendships, my accomplishments, and my mistakes, have all led me to this very moment. I'm about to embark on a whole new life where I'm totally accountable and responsible for everything I do. Everything I've done up until this point has prepared for this, and I hope I'm ready for it.
As excited as I am to start a new life, I'm also in mourning for the life I'm leaving behind. Things will never really be the same again. As much as my mind likes to pretend that nothing changes, in fact everything changes each time I revisit old, familiar places and faces. People move on with their lives and places evolve with the changing people. Most importantly for me, I'm changing and moving on with my life. I'm leaving behind so many people, places, and memories. I'm not but am ready to let it go and start anew all at the same time. I don't even know if that makes sense. But while I'm still here, still in what will soon be the recent past and a happy memory, I want to take it all in and savor it for what it is. I'm living in the now, and I'm loving it.
posted by Christina at 2:40 PM
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