CAGE-ed, for Coffee

I've been CAGE-ed for coffee, indirectly. For those not familiar, CAGE is the acronym first year medical students and other health professionals are taught to remember for the questions to screen for alcohol abuse in adults.

C = Cut down: Have you thought about cutting down your alcohol use?
A = Aggravated or Annoyed: Do you ever get annoyed when someone asks you about your alcohol use?
G = Guilty: Do you ever feel guilty or bad for drinking?
E = Eye-opener: Do you find that you need to start your day off with a drink?

I've answered yes to all of these questions at some point, indirectly. How, you ask? In conversations with friends, family, acquaintances, strangers online at a coffee shop, and especially classmates, I've noticed that statements others make about themselves are delivered in such a way that makes me reflect on myself. Sometimes this can be productive, others destructive. But the point is that I've learned to be more careful about what I say about myself so as not to make someone around feel bad about themselves.

For example, a classmate once said to me, "Oooh, I never drink coffee. I try to avoid it. It's just so bad for you," while I was drinking my life blood from my green coffee mug one dreary morning. "People really need to learn to get off that." Another classmate in the room chimed in, "High five! (They actually high-fived here.) I don't drink coffee either! I just feel so much better about myself for it."

During this conversation, I said yes to the A: annoyed as I was in the middle of the E: eye-opener. I realize that too much coffee is probably not a good thing, but I think that, especially given that I was visibly drinking it, these individuals could have been more sensitive. It makes me wonder how they approach their patients who also have habits that may be less than desirable.

As always, I try to take lessons away from all situations. This situation presented one of the more interesting lessons I've learned so far in life: many pass judgment about others through self-laudatory statements to make themselves feel better. I use here my classmates' behavior as an example of what I've seen in many other places in my life: middle school, high school, college, consulting, RA-ing at MIT, research at both the bedside and the bench. The driver, I think, of such behavior is survival. Survival is the name of the game in medical school, middle school, consulting- you name it. Some get by by making others feel worse about themselves. This may be outright intentional, or may be a small trick one plays unintentionally in an effort to make oneself feel better.

I can't say that I'm not guilty of this myself. I am, however, at least aware and working on it: I'm cutting down, I'm annoyed with myself and feel guilty when I do make these comments (and this makes me want to cut down more), and I cannot remember the last time I needed an eye-opener to make myself feel better. Progress.

Now for that coffee...