Saturday, August 06, 2005

Starting anew... in Cambridge

So I'm sitting in my new apartment in Cambridge, and I must say I'm pretty excited to have my own place and be fully independent. It's pretty liberating to come home to a place everyday that you really can call your own. I also can't wait to start my new job and get some great experience in the business world (and get paid for it too). It's really amazing to me that I'm finally on my own, standing on my own two feet.

Still, being here has pretty much finalized that life as I know it will be completely different from anything I've ever known before. I've left most of my friends and family behind in New York, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I did leave my friends and family behind when I left for Penn in Philadelphia four years ago, but somehow that was different. I still called New York home and returned frequently to visit everyone and still be a part of it all. Now, though, in addition to my high school friends and family still being in NY, just about all of my college friends have moved there too for jobs or med school; I'm leaving even more people behind this time. Moreover, I can no longer call New York home. I've just declared residency in Massachusetts, and Cambridge in particular. With a steady and hectic job, I'll rarely have time to visit NY and see everyone there. I want to be a part of it all in NY, but I had more important reasons to be in Cambridge. I had to choose.

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite happy with my decision. In the grand scheme of things, I knew what I had to do and where I had to be (and wanted to be). I'm just going to miss everything I didn't choose. I know I can't have everything, and I chose what I wanted most. I just can't help but think about what I left behind. For me, entering the real world in and of itself is a big step in life, and I think leaving so many important people and such an important place in the process just compounds its enormity tenfold.

I do have yet to start my job however (which commences Monday) and really get into the glorious routine of things. I'm guessing that once that happens, life will be great as usual, but clearly very different from anything I've ever known. Perhaps it's just this big transition that's getting to me and making me closely examine my life and my situation. Whatever it is I'm going through right now, I am certainly excited to be decorating my new apartment and finally making some money for all the hard work I usually put in anyway. :) I think it all boils down to the fact that I am just a confused and transitioning young adult who can't quite let go of her past but is ready and excited to take on her future.